Thanks very much for sharing your story with me, Lorenz! I appreciate it.

“I was thinking about her like every day and night after the break up.”

If my experience is any indication, this is completely normal behaviour. After a breakup, the mind tries desperately to make sense of what happened and why. It replays scenarios over and over, trying to make them more intelligible. It’s a sort of problem-solving exercise. The key, as you imply, is to let this take place without allowing it to overtake your life. It’s a process that shouldn’t be rushed but, at the same time, one in which we shouldn’t indulge.

“I always had negative thoughts such as: ‘Is she getting bored?’ and such. This insecurity eventually led to a break up, which I am still working on.”

I believe we all, myself included, suffer from insecurities and the fear that we aren’t good enough for others (especially for our significant others). The way I see things, each person has to make an important decision when it comes to dating: will I remove all protective barriers and be fully vulnerable but risk having my heart broken or will I intentionally hold back at times as a means of self-preservation? Nobody can make that choice but you.

Cheers :)